Poems of February 2024

Contradiction

Gruesome cracks across my back
reaching into those pools of deception

deeply inwards pushing to outerworlds
and underworlds I’ve found myself

the map only discovered through trauma
with no place to seek its refuge in resilience 

My chest puffed with golden infamy
lost only to the broken mirror I can’t see

Can I simply get lost forever in the fun house?

Temptation in my own self degradation 
Finally I rejoice in my comforting despair

Shadows have illuminated my fat skeleton
forever alone in sweet healing community

Please don’t be on fire like you were in April

Inspiration strikes only to the idle hands 
Mist up the bifocals so the vision opens 

Take me for what I am without meaning

Hope is found during hide and seek exercises 
I’ll understand when the message obscures 

Symbolism and synchronicity in cyrillic script 

The woods are dark and deep inside the cabin
I will empty the shelves to ship them away

No time for play, there is work to be done

Once I begin 

The Shape of Mud

I guess that is where I’ll go
down the well and never return

Mossy, dark, dank, and damaged
I see the resemblance in my mirror

If I hold it just right I may glimpse 
a slight twinkle of the starlight

The sun is a master impersonator
mocking the genius and sketching the fool

Did you used to play here too?
I forgot that I called this place home

Wild and whimsically terrified of loving
I’ll never know who touched me first

Leave me in my disgust to digest the message
I want to curl myself into the form of mud

Let me be between and inside you
Where is the peace I was promised?

I think it grew up the vine along the tree 
distracted by grace and hospitality