Forficulidae

I can’t figure out why I try 
so hard to save certain insects 
from dying rather than let them 
perish in pools, windows, screens 
I can’t bear to see them struggling 
thinking they are suffering wriggling
as I stand above their final moments. 

Yesterday I saved a trapped earwig
who had fallen in the pond twice
I grabbed small sticks to fetch him 
ashore but once more he fell in and 
once more I used a stick to pull him 
out this time placed a good distance away
safe from a day’s third potential drowning. 

I can still remember when I was young
maybe 4 or 5 when in the garden I was
meeting an earwig for the very first time
while playing in the dirt one used its strong
forcep-like pincers locking on to my gentle
finger and I screamed so loud the adults ran over
trying to explain to little me it was only an earwig. 

Only an earwig. 

Every time I see an earwig I think of this memory 
and still, every time I see an earwig on the brink
of drowning I find a stick and I whisk dermaptera
out of harm's way but occasionally my reaction 
is instinctual like when I saw one in the kitchen 
and I smashed it without thinking but saying, “I’m sorry buddy”
afterwards due to the guilt I felt from being afraid.